Things have been busy. The school year started off okay. I went through a rough time for a while... I was just in a really bad place. I made some changes and re-evaluated what was important to me, and I'm making a conscious effort not to let myself get stressed out and anxious over things that are completely insignificant in the long run. I've felt so much better since.
My clinical rotations class has been going really well, and I absolutely love it. As much as I've been enjoying it, I was secretly hoping to get the chance to see some crazy, exciting thing happen. Lesson learned: be careful what you wish for! At one of my last sites of the semester, I got the amazing opportunity to do CPR on a patient during a code. I swear, it was just like Grey's Anatomy and all those other medical shows! I watched as the doctors and nurses worked on the patient for hours doing everything possible to save her. I felt so invested... It was the first time I ever got to touch a patient, let alone keep her heart beating! By the time I left, it was clear she would not make it. I was devastated, and I got in my car and sobbed. The whole thing was just heartbreaking, especially since when the patient initially came in, she was conscious and the doctors were hopeful that there would be a positive outcome. There are just some images that will remain forever etched in my memory. The lone tear rolling down her cheek after she was intubated and unable to speak. Her husband and his repeated, hopeful inquiries, "She'll be okay. She'll come out of this fine, right?" Her lifeless face as the doctors desperately pushed more and more medication into her veins, hoping her heart would beat on its own again. Her husband, wandering down the hall, dazed and crying when he realize everything might not be okay. As difficult as it was, I learned so much from the experience. And I suppose if I continue to pursue a career in medicine, I will have to face the bad outcomes as well as the good.
On a happier note, this video made me *very* excited. I'm so glad to see that UC-Davis is going to such lengths to accommodate its medical students with hearing loss, and I hope all schools take note! I actually got to meet and speak with Amanda at the AMPHL conference this summer, and I have no doubt she will go far in her career and in life! The video is captioned!
I went to California last week for my older brother's wedding, and I also got to meet up with one of my friends who I got to meet at LOFT over the summer. I had a great time! I'm back home now and taking advantage of the free time. My amazing parents gave me a Nook for Hanukkah (and e-book reader produced by Barnes and Noble, for those of you unfamiliar), and I have been reading away. I feel like a little kid again, staying up until 4 AM reading :) Yep, I had a unique childhood!
One last thing.. I recently came upon this great article while reading my local newspaper. It's about a woman who works as a closed captioner for the Dallas Cowboys stadium. She is also heavily involved in the hearing loss and cochlear implant community. Give it a read!
Happy holidays to my dear readers who are left! May you have a happy, healthy, and safe new year!