It starts out with...
- A significant increase in the number of times I say "what?"
- Suddenly needing things a lot louder OR
- Everything being painfully loud. Lots of shushing!
- I'm completely exhausted and worn out by the end of the day
- I get annoyed easily
- I snap at people at the drop of a hat (I'm normally quite friendly-honest!)
So, what's the deal?
A) I have no clue
B) But it could be..
- An equipment issue
- A mapping issue
- That I'm just stressed, so I don't have as much energy to put into listening
- An internal implant/electrode problem (I highly doubt it)
Instead I strain to follow conversations, and eventually give up and go into my own little world. I put on a a mask of sorts and going into autopilot- smiling, laughing when everyone else laughs, nodding along with conversations. It's like I've gone into a time machine and back two and a half years. Only difference is a new school and harder classes.
And it's just not fair to my family. I go home and take out my frustrations on them, the people I love most. I'm sure we've all done it at one time or another, but I come home tired, angry, and upset everyday. And they feel the emotions right along with me.
Two steps forward, and five steps back.
Sorry if you don't like the short sentences and bulleted lists. I thought I'd try out a little differently just for this post, it seemed to go with how I was feeling.
And no I'm not just going to keep complaining- I've got an appointment with my audiologist and the Cochlear rep on Friday. Cross your fingers...