I don't know what caused my hearing loss. I've had some genetic tests, and therefore I do know that it's not from Connexin 26 or Pendred Syndrome, which leaves roughly another million possibilities.
Growing up, I always seemed to have one medical issue after another. Whenver things were calm and healthy, an eerie "what's next?" feeling lurked over. Like now.. .Things have been going relatively well for the past year, with the exception of the complications I had with my second CI.
And sometimes, I sit and wonder. "What if.." What if the problems I have now turn out to just be the start of something much worse when I'm older? What if I have some rare syndrome or something? What if it's genetic? Do I want to know? What if my hearing loss was just caused by some sort of random mutation or from a medicine I took when I was younger? Would it really calm my fears to know that?
Or, even worse, if it's serious, do I want that to affect he way I view myself and color the way I live my life? Is knowledge really power, or is it just a weight pressing down on our shoulders? Are some questions best left unanswered, at least until the answers reveal themselves?
Obviously, I can't find out anything more, since all the tests have come up negative. And that kind of, sort of bugs me. I'm one of those people who needs information, I have to know every last detail.
I'd love to hear the perspectives of others on this. Did you find out what caused your hearing loss through testing, or did you choose not to find out? Did you not do any testing, only to wish you had when other issues were uncovered later?
10 word(s) of wisdom:
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