Miss me?

Yes, I have been AWOL. Mostly because, well, I don't have much to say. Bet you never thought that day would come, huh?!

Hearing and implant stuff is going well. Had my 5 year anniversary of getting my first implant last week. I can remember it like it was just yesterday, but it's also hard to believe that it was only five short years ago that I was stressing over whether or not to have the surgery, what it would be like to go completely deaf, and what the right decision is for me. Hindsight is 20/20, and looking back I would not change a thing. I  have no regrets about my CI journey whatsoever!

Been pretty busy with life as of late. My oldest sister got married a couple of weeks ago, and I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. As if that wasn't stressful enough, the wedding was the night before the start of my AP exams. I managed to enjoy myself, and it was great being surrounded by family, even if it meant not studying as much as I would have liked.

Now, all I have to do is get through my exams and SAT II/SAT Subject tests this week, and then summer will commence! I am excited for everything coming up! I'm going to the AG Bell Convention (will I be seeing any of my readers there?), volunteering at the hospital again, narrowing down my list of colleges, and working college applications. Then I'll be a senior! In September, I'll turn 18. Can't believe I'm going to be an adult! I may also be taking a couple of other small vacations.

Well, that's about all I have to say for now. Let me know if you'll be attending the Convention in Arizona!

Big Changes- Bye bye, CI's!

All of you know that high school has been filled with its ups and downs for me. Fortunately, it seems I'll be finished a year earlier than originally expected.

I am proud to announce that I have been recruited to attend Harvard University for the fall of 2012. I didn't even have to apply. Apparently the admissions officers came across my blog and were so impressed that they chose to admit me. I don't even have to finish all of my high school credits!

As you all know, the costs of attending a school such as Harvard are astronomical. It is for this reason that I am announcing that starting next week, I will no longer have cochlear implants. It's been a neat experience to be able to hear, but the world is just too noisy for me anyway. I am selling all four of my processors, so please contact me if you are interesting in buying one (or all) of them. I will be having surgery to have the internal implant removed, and I have a company that is willing to buy them back from me and refurbish them so another person will get the chance to hear.

It is with these funds that I am hoping to scrape together enough money to pay for my first year at Harvard. I am not sure how I will pay for the remaining years, but if anyone is in need of a new kidney, feel free to contact me, and perhaps we could negotiate an exchange between the organ and some money for tuition.

I hope that you will all be supportive of me as I endeavor on this life change. I encourage you to keep in touch with me and check out my new blog in which I will account my adventures at Harvard.

Rookie Mistake

So, a couple of weeks ago I got to observe in the OR for a week as part of the program I was participating in. The first day was disastrous, to put it mildly. Once the masks went on, I felt completely lost. The equipment was noisy, the doctors and nurses mumbled, and the operating room doesn't exactly have the best acoustics. I left frustrated and feeling defeated.

When I got to school, I ran into one of my teachers for the course (not sure if I've already explained this before, but some weeks we're in class and other weeks we're observing at various sites). She knew I was nervous about being in the OR and not having any visual cues to help me hear. She stopped and asked how it had gone, and I admitted that I had felt completely lost and wasn't really sure what to do.
She suggested I try bringing the FM in and telling one of the nurses about my CI's and having her wear the FM. It may come as a surprise, but I don't typically tell the doctors and nurses at my site about my hearing loss and implants unless for some reason it comes up in the conversation. I'm usually able to keep up just fine, and since I only stay at each place for a week at a time, it's really not that big of a deal. Plus, I'll admit, a tiny part of me is afraid of them thinking less of me because I can't hear as well. I know, I know, I'm all for advocating for myself, but I'm afraid I'll be viewed differently for some reason.

Anyway, the next day I decided to suck it up and tell them about my implants and ask to use the FM. It worked out great, and the staff was far more receptive than I would have ever imagined. The surgeon was more than happy to wear the FM, and said it would be just another microphone to wear (since he was already wearing one to record the procedure). He interacted with me a lot and made sure I understood what was going on. It was great, and I left feeling absolutely delighted.

The following day was off to a rough start before I even arrived at the surgery center. It was pouring rain, and I was running late. No sooner had I walked into the building than I heard that dreaded beeping sound. The battery on one of my ears had died. I was slightly annoyed, but also grateful that I had another ear I could rely on.

I always have multiple packs of disposable batteries in my purse, pockets, car, etc. However, in recent months, I have transitioned to rechargeable batteries because my map was just too powerful to handle the disposable, thus causing the sound to cut in and out constantly. And of course, I never thought to carry around a spare rechargeable (or a controller that houses disposable batteries). There I was, one eared, but still relieved I had brought my FM. I turned it on, and I used it for all of 5 minutes when it mysteriously stopped working. This isn't anything out of the ordinary, and I've since given up using the FM at all because of its constant issues.

So, I did my best with one ear, and I somehow lucked out being around doctors who seemed to speak more clearly than others I'd been around before. It wasn't ideal, but there wasn't much I could do. I planned to go home during lunch to switch out the dead battery, and I figured I could make do for the first half of the day.  I arrived at school and was taking a test during my first class. Suddenly, I heard a series of beeps followed by complete silence. The other battery had died too. By this point I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry at my awful luck. I went up to my teacher and told her that if she had to tell me anything, she'd need to write it down since I couldn't hear at all. She was super nice about it, but it felt strange not being able to hear. I almost felt... naked? After I finished the test, I drove home and switched out the rechargeables, and I haven't had the issue again. However, now I never leave the house without backup rechargeable batteries!

Expectations Surpassed

Fourteen years ago, the journey began.

My mom listened in a daze as the audiologist threw around words like "decibels" and "audiogram". The audiologist pointed to a graph with scribbled X's and O's. She placed her finger on the line marked zero. "This is the level that most children hear at," she said, and then dragged her finger down to the line that said seventy, "this is the level your daughter hears at."

My mom did not understand.

"Wow," my mom thought to herself, "look how good her hearing is!"

The woman continued. She spoke of hearing aids, of me never speaking 'normally' and never attending a typical school, let alone perform at the same level as my hearing peers. That was a word she seemed to like, the word "never". That, along with "can't" and "won't"

In tears, my mother dragged me out of the doctor's office, vowing to never return to a place that told her what her daughter was incapable of achieving.

Me (right) with my older sister back in the day

Last week, I woke up at four in the morning to see how I performed on the SAT. My body filled with a mixture of dread and excitement when I saw the words "Your scores are available!" on the screen.

I clicked on it, and I saw this:

The score for each section is in the center column. A perfect score on a section is an 800. You add the scores up for the composite score, which is out of 2400.

I got a 2260, as you can see. I'm not sure if I screamed. I certainly let out a gasp. I know scores don't mean everything, but it's nice to have cold hard proof that I can point to and say, "You could not have been more wrong about me."

Just to put it in perspective:

• The national average score on the SAT is a 1500. (Source)
• The average SAT score for Harvard falls in the range of 2070-2350. (Source)

Yes, I am deaf- deaf to those who doubt me! And with that, I ask you not ever let a so-called expert control your future.