The title does *not* reference a CI failure of any sort.
Remember my freshman year?
Remember how hard I fought for accommodations? How much I struggled?
And then remember sophomore year? How I barely got any sleep? How I accepted the fact I'd just have to work harder than everyone else? How I figured if I just studied hard enough I could make up for what I missed in hearing?
And remember that one class I took for the past two years? I literally spent hours nightly slaving over the textbook reading, carefully taking notes- hoping that what had been discussed in a class of 50+ students would instead be absorbed by reading and rereading the material.
At the end of the two years, I took the national exam. It doesn't really serve much of a purpose besides the opportunity to receive college credit. Basically "testing out" of a college course. It's a culmination of all the work you've put into the class, giving you reassurance that yes, it was worth it.
I didn't think I'd done very well, but I hoped for the best. Scores came in the mail in rounds. I heard as more and more people received their letters and received outstanding scores. They never studied nearly as much as I did, so I thought maybe all my studying would pay off.
It didn't. I didn't just "not do as well I'd hoped"; my score was nauseatingly bad.
Maybe some people would shrug it off and think "better luck next time."
But I'm not like that. Instead I reflect. I overthink.
I always thought that if I worked hard enough, I could achieve anything. But maybe that's not true at all. Am I completely out of my league? If I did this miserably bad on an exam with a class of 50-something kids, how in the world can I handle competitive college classes that can be 5, even 10 times bigger, let alone years of medical school?
Have I completely overestimated myself?
Don't get me wrong, working hard has gotten me far. On the surface, I'm doing pretty well. I hear and speak, by most standards, well. Working my butt off and barely getting any sleep has allowed me to stay in the top 5% of my class (for now).
Is it even worth it? Where is this going to get me? Are my standards just set too high? If I feel so burnt out now, where am I going to be five, ten, twenty years from now? Will there ever ever be a point where I can look back and comfortably say, "it paid off."?
It just bothers me because I feel like I'm capable of so much, yet every time I try to reach my potential, I can feel the painful hands of hearing loss trying to pull me back. Actually, I can't even completely blame it on my deafness, but, more accurately, society's refusal to adapt to it.
It seems like it would be so much easier to just be average. To be satisfied at the idea of simply passing a course that's on grade level.
But for now I carry on, chin held high, slowly placing one foot in front of the other. My life is so much more than a test score.
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Friday, December 3, 2010
Just one of those weeks
It's not a hearing thing.
I used to think it was, until one day at lunch my friends were describing how when they're really stressed out at school, the smallest things will set them off into a fit of crying. Ha! I actually am normal!
Maybe it's a girl thing? A perfectionist thing?
This week has absolutely sucked. (sorry Mom, I know you hate that word..)
I would go as far as to say this week was the most stressful, upsetting week of my one and a half years in high school. All of my teachers are being forced to squeeze in a ton of last minute projects and assignments. I don't think they like it anymore than we do, but, quite frankly, they're not the ones running on 4 hours of sleep.
So, that in addition to some family stuff to deal with --> me=disaster. Every little thing set me off.
Example:
Friend/family member: Hey, how was your day?
Me: *cue blubbering hysterics*
Just lovely. On Wednesday, I had 2 very large projects due, leading to my lack of sleep (and even on those 4 hours of sleep, I wasn't able to complete all of my homework. I got to spend my lunchtime working too!) This morning (Friday), I was finally feeling relaxed. I had no tests or quizzes to study for, and all of the projects for the week were turned in, and I was finally going to be able to get some sleep tonight. I just wanted to print off a copy of a powerpoint we were using in one of my classes so that I would have an easier time listening rather than concentrating on taking notes.
I went to the printer to retrieve the notes, but it was out of paper. I refilled the paper. I looked down expecting my powerpoint notes to be printed.
The first thing that printed was the last page of my English project. The one I had stayed up working on until 2 AM. The one that was due on Wednesday. It was the last two paragraphs (i.e, the last 20 points).
*Insert full-out sobbing and shrieking here*
Thank G-d my teacher likes me. He apparently took sympathy on my teary, puffy-eyed self and insisted that it was fine since he hadn't graded it yet. It's good thing he accepted it, because I may have otherwise had a complete mental breakdown on the spot.
This week is over. Now I have the onslaught of projects for this upcoming weeks. Just 2 more weeks until Winter Break. I can do this. Right?
Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish readers. I've barely had time to celebrate, but I will write about it later on!
I used to think it was, until one day at lunch my friends were describing how when they're really stressed out at school, the smallest things will set them off into a fit of crying. Ha! I actually am normal!
Maybe it's a girl thing? A perfectionist thing?
This week has absolutely sucked. (sorry Mom, I know you hate that word..)
I would go as far as to say this week was the most stressful, upsetting week of my one and a half years in high school. All of my teachers are being forced to squeeze in a ton of last minute projects and assignments. I don't think they like it anymore than we do, but, quite frankly, they're not the ones running on 4 hours of sleep.
So, that in addition to some family stuff to deal with --> me=disaster. Every little thing set me off.
Example:
Friend/family member: Hey, how was your day?
Me: *cue blubbering hysterics*
Just lovely. On Wednesday, I had 2 very large projects due, leading to my lack of sleep (and even on those 4 hours of sleep, I wasn't able to complete all of my homework. I got to spend my lunchtime working too!) This morning (Friday), I was finally feeling relaxed. I had no tests or quizzes to study for, and all of the projects for the week were turned in, and I was finally going to be able to get some sleep tonight. I just wanted to print off a copy of a powerpoint we were using in one of my classes so that I would have an easier time listening rather than concentrating on taking notes.
I went to the printer to retrieve the notes, but it was out of paper. I refilled the paper. I looked down expecting my powerpoint notes to be printed.
The first thing that printed was the last page of my English project. The one I had stayed up working on until 2 AM. The one that was due on Wednesday. It was the last two paragraphs (i.e, the last 20 points).
*Insert full-out sobbing and shrieking here*
Thank G-d my teacher likes me. He apparently took sympathy on my teary, puffy-eyed self and insisted that it was fine since he hadn't graded it yet. It's good thing he accepted it, because I may have otherwise had a complete mental breakdown on the spot.
This week is over. Now I have the onslaught of projects for this upcoming weeks. Just 2 more weeks until Winter Break. I can do this. Right?
Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish readers. I've barely had time to celebrate, but I will write about it later on!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Getting Creative
As long-time readers probably know, getting captioning on school videos has been a struggle for me, (and I'm sure many other D/HoH students as well). All of my teacher have dealt with the situation differently, and sometimes I can understand the video pretty well without captions, so long as I don't have to take notes and can just concentrate on the listening part. Other times, it's some animated video narrated by an Irish guy, and I'm completely lost. In one of my classes we're watching a video that takes 3 class days to watch. It's in a two year class for freshmen and sophomores, so I had these teachers (there are 2 teachers- I have 60 kids in my class) last year. They've always been really accommodating and helpful, so they made sure to get a video with subtitles.
Well, once they went to play it, they discovered these subtitles were only available in Spanish or French. So, I got a summary of the movie, plugged my FM into the speakers, and used French subtitles. I could understand a large amount between my hearing and French skills. It actually wasn't too confusing reading in French while listening in English, and it wasn't certainly much better than having nothing. I always thought learning French would come in handy, but being able to read French subtitles never really entered my mind!
Well, once they went to play it, they discovered these subtitles were only available in Spanish or French. So, I got a summary of the movie, plugged my FM into the speakers, and used French subtitles. I could understand a large amount between my hearing and French skills. It actually wasn't too confusing reading in French while listening in English, and it wasn't certainly much better than having nothing. I always thought learning French would come in handy, but being able to read French subtitles never really entered my mind!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Deaf teacher publicizes discrimination, gets suspended
So it just seems that there has been a lot of hearing loss/discrimination related new in my area lately. This article caught my eye when I was reading the newspaper this morning (Yes, I read the paper and always have. My friends like to make fun of me for doing so, but I'm always well informed!)
My summary: Kathleen Nosek is a deaf special ed teacher and has been teaching at the same school for ten years. In the past couple of years the principal of the school, Amy Miller, began insisting that Nosek administer pronunciation tests to her students herself. In the past Nosek had other teachers perform this test (which only had to be done a few times a year) for her, and it wasn't a problem. When Nosek told Miller that her hearing loss made it extremely difficult to accurately perform the tests, Miller questioned whether Nosek's hearing loss made her unfit for her job (which she's been doing for years just fine!). Well, Nosek chose to bring allegations of harassment and intimidation by Miller before the school board. The morning of, she had a local news reporter in her classroom and was interviewed. This led to her suspension.
The full story along with hundreds of comments is available here. If you ask me, this story is blatant discrimination, and her suspension is just the tip of the iceberg.
The news reporter published a blog post with a few clarifications and updates, available here.
My summary: Kathleen Nosek is a deaf special ed teacher and has been teaching at the same school for ten years. In the past couple of years the principal of the school, Amy Miller, began insisting that Nosek administer pronunciation tests to her students herself. In the past Nosek had other teachers perform this test (which only had to be done a few times a year) for her, and it wasn't a problem. When Nosek told Miller that her hearing loss made it extremely difficult to accurately perform the tests, Miller questioned whether Nosek's hearing loss made her unfit for her job (which she's been doing for years just fine!). Well, Nosek chose to bring allegations of harassment and intimidation by Miller before the school board. The morning of, she had a local news reporter in her classroom and was interviewed. This led to her suspension.
The full story along with hundreds of comments is available here. If you ask me, this story is blatant discrimination, and her suspension is just the tip of the iceberg.
The news reporter published a blog post with a few clarifications and updates, available here.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Hearing Loss, Confidence, and my Second Week of School
Week 2 was also successful! The homework load has increased, and there has been an annoying amount of "busy-work" but it has certainly been bearable. It was pretty uneventful (except for a bunch of other sophomores unofficially declared on Tuesday "Scrub Day" which I find to be terrifying and cruel. If you don't know what it is, I'll leave it up to your imagination. Hint: It has absolutely nothing to do with wearing scrubs or cleaning). Since there's not much to say about that, I thought I would talk about confidence and how it has impacted me.
Over the summer I volunteered at a nearby pediatric hospital. While I had done it the summer before, this year they placed me at the front desk as opposed to being in the back filing papers. I was really excited about this, as it's obviously more a lot more interesting to get some interaction with patients and parents. I was in charge of giving directions and walking people to their destinations in the hard-to-navigate hospital. I certainly feel like it taught me quite a bit about speaking up for myself, as you can't exactly bluff when you mishear the location you're supposed to be bringing someone! As time went on, I also built up the confidence to go up and ask people who seemed to be wandering and lost if they needed help. People view you completely differently when you act like you know what you're talking about.
This brings me to the school year. The (semi-)confidence to talk to complete strangers has proved essential for yearbook, since we have to ask people permission before taking their pictures. This also means getting shot down over and over (and over!) again, but I guess that's just another life lesson! It has also transferred over to my other classes, such as when I asked my teacher to change my seat since I was facing the wall instead of the front of the room. She was more than happy to move me, but I don't think the girl I traded with was too crazy about having to strain her neck for 50 minutes every day. Not sure why they position the desks like that anyway...
I also built up the confidence to run for an officer position of my school's French Honor Society. To back up a bit, I had never been in the officer position of a club before until I decided to run for my school's Red Cross Club. My friends and I were pretty much the only freshmen in it last year, so this year all 5 of us are officers since there wasn't really anyone to run against. We're hoping to get more students involved! Anyway, running for FHS officer was the first thing where I'd actually have to compete against other people for the position. Luckily for me, the winner is chosen by having an interview with my French teacher instead of having to give a speech and have members vote (baby steps!) To be completely honest, I wavered back and forth about whether I wanted to interview, and wasn't going to do it until the tutorial session I was going to attend before school was canceled, and I was already at the school so I had nothing better to do but to go and interview for the position. I hadn't prepared at all, but I managed to win the position I wanted, so that was pretty exciting!
Over the summer I volunteered at a nearby pediatric hospital. While I had done it the summer before, this year they placed me at the front desk as opposed to being in the back filing papers. I was really excited about this, as it's obviously more a lot more interesting to get some interaction with patients and parents. I was in charge of giving directions and walking people to their destinations in the hard-to-navigate hospital. I certainly feel like it taught me quite a bit about speaking up for myself, as you can't exactly bluff when you mishear the location you're supposed to be bringing someone! As time went on, I also built up the confidence to go up and ask people who seemed to be wandering and lost if they needed help. People view you completely differently when you act like you know what you're talking about.
This brings me to the school year. The (semi-)confidence to talk to complete strangers has proved essential for yearbook, since we have to ask people permission before taking their pictures. This also means getting shot down over and over (and over!) again, but I guess that's just another life lesson! It has also transferred over to my other classes, such as when I asked my teacher to change my seat since I was facing the wall instead of the front of the room. She was more than happy to move me, but I don't think the girl I traded with was too crazy about having to strain her neck for 50 minutes every day. Not sure why they position the desks like that anyway...
I also built up the confidence to run for an officer position of my school's French Honor Society. To back up a bit, I had never been in the officer position of a club before until I decided to run for my school's Red Cross Club. My friends and I were pretty much the only freshmen in it last year, so this year all 5 of us are officers since there wasn't really anyone to run against. We're hoping to get more students involved! Anyway, running for FHS officer was the first thing where I'd actually have to compete against other people for the position. Luckily for me, the winner is chosen by having an interview with my French teacher instead of having to give a speech and have members vote (baby steps!) To be completely honest, I wavered back and forth about whether I wanted to interview, and wasn't going to do it until the tutorial session I was going to attend before school was canceled, and I was already at the school so I had nothing better to do but to go and interview for the position. I hadn't prepared at all, but I managed to win the position I wanted, so that was pretty exciting!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Sophomore Year- Week 1
So far, everything has been pretty good and my teachers have been wonderful (knock on wood). We've watched a few movies, and every time they have either been captioned (knock on wood), or the teacher has told me in advance and worked out how I will get the information. My hearing has been great (knock on wood) and I actually went for a mapping before school started, but chose to stay on my old program. That's the first time I felt like I was hearing well enough that I didn't want to change to something new. The FM has also worked pretty well (knock on wood) and the teachers have been great about passing it around.
The workload hasn't been terrible (I'd say knock on wood, but your hand is probably getting tired), and I am so glad I chose the electives I did. While my friends are spending their time reading studying and reading for quiz after quiz for their AP elective class, I get to go around taking pictures for the yearbook! Obviously, once we have more pictures there will be more work in designing the pages, staying after school, going to outside events, etc. but I would much rather be doing this. I can't remember if I said this before (I probably did) but I am also taking a medical science class, which will hopefully lead to me securing a spot in a program next year where students get to observe doctors of all kinds as well as surgeries. We haven't started doing any in-depth learning yet, but I can tell it will be something that I will enjoy. We're also going to be learning how to use stethoscopes properly in the coming weeks, so if anyone has experience/ advice on using a specific brand stethoscope with a cochlear implant, please share! There is another person taking the class with CIs, so the school is looking into purchasing one. We'll see where that goes!
I turn 16 on Labor Day and will hopefully be getting my license soon after, as I have to take yet another test due to the crazy laws that Texas passed and put in effect starting with the teens getting their licenses literally a week before me. I would be grumbling about having such a borderline birthday, but if I had born a week earlier I would be a Junior, so I guess I can't complain! Here's to another good week!
The workload hasn't been terrible (I'd say knock on wood, but your hand is probably getting tired), and I am so glad I chose the electives I did. While my friends are spending their time reading studying and reading for quiz after quiz for their AP elective class, I get to go around taking pictures for the yearbook! Obviously, once we have more pictures there will be more work in designing the pages, staying after school, going to outside events, etc. but I would much rather be doing this. I can't remember if I said this before (I probably did) but I am also taking a medical science class, which will hopefully lead to me securing a spot in a program next year where students get to observe doctors of all kinds as well as surgeries. We haven't started doing any in-depth learning yet, but I can tell it will be something that I will enjoy. We're also going to be learning how to use stethoscopes properly in the coming weeks, so if anyone has experience/ advice on using a specific brand stethoscope with a cochlear implant, please share! There is another person taking the class with CIs, so the school is looking into purchasing one. We'll see where that goes!
I turn 16 on Labor Day and will hopefully be getting my license soon after, as I have to take yet another test due to the crazy laws that Texas passed and put in effect starting with the teens getting their licenses literally a week before me. I would be grumbling about having such a borderline birthday, but if I had born a week earlier I would be a Junior, so I guess I can't complain! Here's to another good week!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
The GED of IEP's- A Guest Post
The following is a guest blog post, as written by "Moxy", a fellow teenage girl with hearing loss. I'm sure she would greatly appreciate any comments! Are you interested in writing a guest blog post? Post a comment or email me with the topic you would like to write about, and I will get back to you.
So, you've accepted that your child has a hearing loss. Your kid is enrolled in school, and there's talk of an IEP. What can I tell you about your IEP? Not a lot that your audiologist, teacher, or teacher of the deaf can't tell you. I'm not an expert on IEPs. I've sat in on my own IEP meeting once, which, in my opinion, was horrible. It was the first one that I was asked to attend, and I basically sat there, missing class, while teachers, my mother, a school psychologist I had never met, a hearing teacher/psychologist I had met once before, informally, sat and spoke about me as if I wasn't there. I, if you can't tell, am not a fan of IEP's.
A quick background, however, so you know where I'm coming from. I'm a hard of hearing high school student. I wear hearing aids and use an FM system in class (for those uninitiated, the FM is a wireless microphone my teacher wears like a lanyard. There are small "boots" on my hearing aids that pick up the signal. This is supposed to give me the effect of the teacher speaking directly next to me), and I enjoy long walks on the beach (Not really, the sand/ocean "white noise"/ocean spray isn't great for hearing equipment).
The IEP is what, essentially, requires that my teachers wear my FM. It also explains where I should sit in the room, what conditions might be adverse to my learning [Read: bad lighting, uncarpeted rooms, large classes, heavy facial hair/accents], and what (if anything) additional I may require [FM use, captioned media, extra time on testing (I don't get that one either)]. "BUT!" I can *almost* hear you saying, "Isn't your IEP a lifesaver? Doesn't it mean you can relax, knowing you'll have unrestricted access to communication and information, just like everything else?! What a breakthrough!?" But the IEP is not this. Often, unless a teacher knows they will be meeting with my Teacher of the Deaf, they don't read my IEP. On the first day of school this year, I had one teacher ask if "the hearing aids are all, or do you have anything else going on?" What?! My TotD-provided printout, carefully hi-lited with the needs specific to each class, determined by a conversation about this very act of explanation... didn't cover this.
However, being a fairly confident teenager in my own right, I laugh it off, say no, briefly explain my FM (I'll already turn it on when I give it to you, if you need to, you can turn it off, here's how, I can also turn it off from my hearing aids, so if you forget it's fine. Just remember to turn it back on, or, if you for some reason take it off, to put it back on, so I don't have to awkwardly/embarrassingly interrupt the class, telling you I've been lost for the last 5 minutes because you forgot), and take a seat. You seem content. You reply, after a minute, to let me know if you can do anything, whatever. It's all good.
Which is why, a week later, when I walk into the class to see the paused opening credits of a movie, I sit down and relax. In my world, everything is captioned. The TV I watch at home has those friendly black lines scrolling at the bottom of the screen. I'm still on auto-pilot, eyes flickering to the bottom of the screen. The film begins rolling, and I hear garbled noises as a heavily accented actor delivers his lines. I look to you, wondering if you've simply forgotten. You see me trying to grab your attention, and apologize, saying there aren't any captions. I nod my head, but inwardly, I'm screaming. "WHAT about the IEP?! What about the Internet, all of those script sites? What about the e-mail address for my Teacher of the Deaf (TotD) I gave you, on the IEP recommendations sheet, who you're supposed to e-mail if the movie isn't captioned?! Was I speaking English!?" I sit, fuming for a while, trying to pick up random pieces of info. At the end of class, you assign an essay on the movie, due the next day. Ha! I think to myself.
Which is why you're surprised, the next day, when I hand nothing in. At the end of the class I approach you, reiterating everything about necessary captioning. You nod, agree, whatever.
The cycle begins.
Keeping in mind how often movies are watched at my school, this might happen twice a month. When the TotD approaches you, everything's good, I'm a good student, no, my hearing loss doesn't seem to be effecting me at all.
My parents, friends, and TotD know this to be untrue, however. You're simply resistant to my attempts to advocate, so I silently fume in your class during the rest of the semester.
Don't get me wrong, the IEP isn't evil. It can be downright helpful, but not in the ways I think it's meant to be. Something, for example, that isn't on my IEP, is group projects. I hate them. I hate them because I can be control freak-ish (that's me, overcompensating for my hearing loss. If I control the group direction, then I'll know what's going on), which leads to me doing a LOT of work. Which is OK, I will do my best for a good grade. But the IEP seems to signal to you that I'm hard of hearing. So, when I approach you, quietly, during class, and ask that our group be able to work in the hallway because with all the other groups talking, I can't hear the person sitting next to me, you allow us. We'll sit in the hallway and get stuff done. Hey! I can hear! But that IEP, yellow flag that it is, let's me ask this of you. It helps.
I had to ask myself why I wanted to write this a few times, during the process. I don't discourage anyone from getting an IEP, if it is appropriate for them. I just advise you that an IEP isn't a magical band-aid. It doesn't make hearing loss (in this situation) go away. It doesn't take it out of the equation at all. Advocacy is still very important, and if you're a teenager reading this, don't be afraid to shoot off an e-mail to your teacher, saying "Dear Mr. Teachy-mc-teacher, I can't deal when you don't do this and that. If you could do this-and-that, or perhaps hook me up with alternate whatever, I can deal. If you've got questions, feel free to hit me or my TotD up. TTYL, frustrated hoh/d student". If you're a parent of a hoh/d kid, don't be afraid to contact the teacher, and/or the totd. Trust me, your kid will thank you for it later, no matter how embarrassing it is at the time. The embarrassment might also teach some self-advocacy. And finally, if you're a teacher? Listen. It's not all your fault. Being hard of hearing/deaf (hoh/d) student is just half of the game. We need to be able to have open communication to make things work.
Quick MAJOR thank you to your fav blogger PinkLam (or MissPink, as I've seen it ;P) for letting me temporarily hijack her blog for a moment. Note that this post is not a reflection of her, or her opinions. She was kind enough to let me stick my nose in this whole hoh/d blogging :D Keep reading; I will.
So, you've accepted that your child has a hearing loss. Your kid is enrolled in school, and there's talk of an IEP. What can I tell you about your IEP? Not a lot that your audiologist, teacher, or teacher of the deaf can't tell you. I'm not an expert on IEPs. I've sat in on my own IEP meeting once, which, in my opinion, was horrible. It was the first one that I was asked to attend, and I basically sat there, missing class, while teachers, my mother, a school psychologist I had never met, a hearing teacher/psychologist I had met once before, informally, sat and spoke about me as if I wasn't there. I, if you can't tell, am not a fan of IEP's.
A quick background, however, so you know where I'm coming from. I'm a hard of hearing high school student. I wear hearing aids and use an FM system in class (for those uninitiated, the FM is a wireless microphone my teacher wears like a lanyard. There are small "boots" on my hearing aids that pick up the signal. This is supposed to give me the effect of the teacher speaking directly next to me), and I enjoy long walks on the beach (Not really, the sand/ocean "white noise"/ocean spray isn't great for hearing equipment).
The IEP is what, essentially, requires that my teachers wear my FM. It also explains where I should sit in the room, what conditions might be adverse to my learning [Read: bad lighting, uncarpeted rooms, large classes, heavy facial hair/accents], and what (if anything) additional I may require [FM use, captioned media, extra time on testing (I don't get that one either)]. "BUT!" I can *almost* hear you saying, "Isn't your IEP a lifesaver? Doesn't it mean you can relax, knowing you'll have unrestricted access to communication and information, just like everything else?! What a breakthrough!?" But the IEP is not this. Often, unless a teacher knows they will be meeting with my Teacher of the Deaf, they don't read my IEP. On the first day of school this year, I had one teacher ask if "the hearing aids are all, or do you have anything else going on?" What?! My TotD-provided printout, carefully hi-lited with the needs specific to each class, determined by a conversation about this very act of explanation... didn't cover this.
However, being a fairly confident teenager in my own right, I laugh it off, say no, briefly explain my FM (I'll already turn it on when I give it to you, if you need to, you can turn it off, here's how, I can also turn it off from my hearing aids, so if you forget it's fine. Just remember to turn it back on, or, if you for some reason take it off, to put it back on, so I don't have to awkwardly/embarrassingly interrupt the class, telling you I've been lost for the last 5 minutes because you forgot), and take a seat. You seem content. You reply, after a minute, to let me know if you can do anything, whatever. It's all good.
Which is why, a week later, when I walk into the class to see the paused opening credits of a movie, I sit down and relax. In my world, everything is captioned. The TV I watch at home has those friendly black lines scrolling at the bottom of the screen. I'm still on auto-pilot, eyes flickering to the bottom of the screen. The film begins rolling, and I hear garbled noises as a heavily accented actor delivers his lines. I look to you, wondering if you've simply forgotten. You see me trying to grab your attention, and apologize, saying there aren't any captions. I nod my head, but inwardly, I'm screaming. "WHAT about the IEP?! What about the Internet, all of those script sites? What about the e-mail address for my Teacher of the Deaf (TotD) I gave you, on the IEP recommendations sheet, who you're supposed to e-mail if the movie isn't captioned?! Was I speaking English!?" I sit, fuming for a while, trying to pick up random pieces of info. At the end of class, you assign an essay on the movie, due the next day. Ha! I think to myself.
Which is why you're surprised, the next day, when I hand nothing in. At the end of the class I approach you, reiterating everything about necessary captioning. You nod, agree, whatever.
The cycle begins.
Keeping in mind how often movies are watched at my school, this might happen twice a month. When the TotD approaches you, everything's good, I'm a good student, no, my hearing loss doesn't seem to be effecting me at all.
My parents, friends, and TotD know this to be untrue, however. You're simply resistant to my attempts to advocate, so I silently fume in your class during the rest of the semester.
Don't get me wrong, the IEP isn't evil. It can be downright helpful, but not in the ways I think it's meant to be. Something, for example, that isn't on my IEP, is group projects. I hate them. I hate them because I can be control freak-ish (that's me, overcompensating for my hearing loss. If I control the group direction, then I'll know what's going on), which leads to me doing a LOT of work. Which is OK, I will do my best for a good grade. But the IEP seems to signal to you that I'm hard of hearing. So, when I approach you, quietly, during class, and ask that our group be able to work in the hallway because with all the other groups talking, I can't hear the person sitting next to me, you allow us. We'll sit in the hallway and get stuff done. Hey! I can hear! But that IEP, yellow flag that it is, let's me ask this of you. It helps.
I had to ask myself why I wanted to write this a few times, during the process. I don't discourage anyone from getting an IEP, if it is appropriate for them. I just advise you that an IEP isn't a magical band-aid. It doesn't make hearing loss (in this situation) go away. It doesn't take it out of the equation at all. Advocacy is still very important, and if you're a teenager reading this, don't be afraid to shoot off an e-mail to your teacher, saying "Dear Mr. Teachy-mc-teacher, I can't deal when you don't do this and that. If you could do this-and-that, or perhaps hook me up with alternate whatever, I can deal. If you've got questions, feel free to hit me or my TotD up. TTYL, frustrated hoh/d student". If you're a parent of a hoh/d kid, don't be afraid to contact the teacher, and/or the totd. Trust me, your kid will thank you for it later, no matter how embarrassing it is at the time. The embarrassment might also teach some self-advocacy. And finally, if you're a teacher? Listen. It's not all your fault. Being hard of hearing/deaf (hoh/d) student is just half of the game. We need to be able to have open communication to make things work.
Quick MAJOR thank you to your fav blogger PinkLam (or MissPink, as I've seen it ;P) for letting me temporarily hijack her blog for a moment. Note that this post is not a reflection of her, or her opinions. She was kind enough to let me stick my nose in this whole hoh/d blogging :D Keep reading; I will.
Monday, July 12, 2010
AG Bell (2)- Friday Afternoon and Evening
On Friday afternoon, we were given the options to listen to listen to some of the speakers. They gave us a list of sessions that they though might be interesting to teens, and we signed up for the ones we wanted to go to. I went to three and they were all very good. Here is a brief summary of them:
Teen Tales of Hearing Loss
Presenters: Melanie Paticoff, James Barden, and Patrick deHahn
I have blogged about Mel Paticoff before, and was interested in hearing the session that she was leading. It was basically a panel led in a question and answer format, which were both pre-written questions and questions the audience came up with. It was nice to hear other teens perspectives, although I suspect this was more interesting and helpful to the parents of tweens and younger kids who were wanting to know what their children would be going through in the future. They touched on a variety of topics from school (both guys had attended an oral deaf school when they were younger, then transferred to a mainstream school); the decision to get cochlear implant(s) (One had been implanted when he was 5 or so, the other when he was 11/12. The former chose to go bilateral when he was a teenager, but the latter doesn't want to go through surgery again); and explaining hearing loss/devices to your peers. It was all very well done and planned, and I do think everyone got a lot out of it. One person mentioned it would have been nice to get the perspective of a girl teen with hearing loss, and I think that is a good point. From the looks of the program, it sounds like they had planned for another person to be on the panel who was a girl, I assume a conflict came up.
College Life 101
Presenters: Mark Leekoff, Ari Sagiv, Dorie Shapiro, Lindsey Rentmeester
This was another panel, and since I attended the same session at the last convention, I had a pretty good idea of what to expect (although it was all different people). It's fascinating how one person's experience can be vastly different from that of another. Most of the panel from the 2008 convention, if I recall correctly, said that while they didn't outright state their hearing loss when applying for college, they mentioned it in their application essays. One person on the 2010 panel said that they did not want to disclose their hearing loss, a couple of people said they did, and one even went as far as saying that it would be dishonest not to disclose it. I do think he had a point there, and he went on to say that if a college doesn't want you with your hearing loss, you really can't expect them want to give you accommodations. That being said, the panelists still had issues with accommodations even if they did disclose their hearing loss. One girl remarked on the irony of being in an Audiology program, and having the school come to her and question her need for CART and other assistive services for her hearing. I don't think she said the name of the Grad school, but she ultimately made the decision to leave for another school that she felt was a better fit. It also came to light that even with the ADA in place, people won't necessarily follow it. One guy was saying that in an interview (for medical school, I believe) the interviewer actually asked him "I know that many people with hearing loss have multiple other health problems. Do you have any other health issues I should know about?" This, I came to find out, is illegal and a huge red flag. The only thing that you are allowed to be asked in an interview regarding hearing loss or any other disabilities is "Do you have any disability that would interfere with your ability to do this job?" The interviewee does have the option of bringing up and talking about his/her hearing loss as much as desired, but it is not required. I learned a lot from these speakers.
Health Care Professionals: Learn from our Experiences
Presenters: Stacey Carroll, Ph.D., ANP-BC; Christopher Lehfeldt, DDS; and Lindsey Rentmeester, Au.D.;
I was really looking forward to this session, since I had not ever met someone with hearing loss in the medical field. The panel featured a deaf dentist, nurse, occupational therapist, and audiologist. They also planned on having a deaf physician there, but he ended up having a family emergency and was not able to make it. There was a wide age range, from (these are my estimates) mid 20's to 40's. They all had great stories to tell, and the vast majority of the people that spoke had experienced an overwhelming amount of adversity and doubt when going into the medical field by teachers, bosses, and employees, but were greeted with open arms by patients. I found this to be very interesting, as I would have thought gaining a patient's trust would be the biggest problem.
The occupational therapist told about her first rotation as a student, in which she was placed with a teacher/boss who pretty much from the first day told her he was going to fail her because of her hearing loss. She described her frustration with working with someone determined to fail you, and how discouraged she became, even taking some time off after to decide if it was still something she wanted to do. She ultimately persevered, but this really demonstrated to me how much harder we (people with hearing loss) have to work to prove ourselves.
The nurse spoke about only the students with the 30 best GPA's getting into nursing school. She had an extremely good GPA, and recalled her professor calling her into his office to tell her she wasn't going to go on to nursing school. She was a little bit confused, and asked if she had not been in the top 30. "No, that's not it." the professor had said, "It's just that you're... 'unique.'" She went to the dean of the school (who, by some stroke of luck, happened to have a deaf son) who assured her that he would handle it, and she obviously ended up getting in!
One thing I found really exciting is that they have developed transparent surgical masks (patent pending), and are just waiting on a manufacturer. This is great news, not just for health care professionals with hearing loss, but also for patients with hearing loss. I cannot tell you how many times I've had to remind my dentist or orthodontist to "take off the mask, please" when they are talking to me (this is typically when one or both of my CI's have been knocked off in the chair!) They passed around the mask, now I'm wishing I had taken a picture. The part that goes around the face/lip area is transparent, but the part that goes under the chin is made of the same material as typical surgical masks, as is the part that hooks around your ears. I really hope they are mass manufactured soon, as there is a huge need and consumer audience.
After a long day of speakers, one of my friends from the past convention, her mom, my mom, and myself rushed to catch the shuttle to go to Downtown Disney. It was really cool, with a bunch of shops and restaurants lining the path. There had been some confusion as to what time the Opening General Session started that evening, and we ended up missing it, so I can't comment on that. We got there right in time for the Exhibition Hall grand opening/reception. This year, they were clever and gave out "game cards" with 9 of the exhibitors names' on them. Each card was different, and the idea was to get stamps from all 9 of the exhibitors on your game card. You then placed the card in a drawing, and were entered to win one of many great prizes (an iPod; all expenses paid for 2 people for the next convention in Scottsdale, AZ; a ton of books from the AG Bell bookstore worth hundreds of dollars, and more). Of course, in the process, the exhibitors would try to get you interested in their products. We didn't win, but I still loved the idea.
I explored the exhibit hall with a couple of my friends from the teen program, and they really did have a lot of things in it. There was a lot of free stuff! As always, the 3 CI companies had gigantic areas as opposed to a tiny booth that most other companies had. We received a lot of goodies from Cochlear- from cookies to beach balls to tote bags. We also got our picture taken with Kayci the Cochlear Koala, but we had to leave before it was printed. (if any Cochlear employee still has the pictures and wants to email it to me, please do!)
Teen Tales of Hearing Loss
Presenters: Melanie Paticoff, James Barden, and Patrick deHahn
I have blogged about Mel Paticoff before, and was interested in hearing the session that she was leading. It was basically a panel led in a question and answer format, which were both pre-written questions and questions the audience came up with. It was nice to hear other teens perspectives, although I suspect this was more interesting and helpful to the parents of tweens and younger kids who were wanting to know what their children would be going through in the future. They touched on a variety of topics from school (both guys had attended an oral deaf school when they were younger, then transferred to a mainstream school); the decision to get cochlear implant(s) (One had been implanted when he was 5 or so, the other when he was 11/12. The former chose to go bilateral when he was a teenager, but the latter doesn't want to go through surgery again); and explaining hearing loss/devices to your peers. It was all very well done and planned, and I do think everyone got a lot out of it. One person mentioned it would have been nice to get the perspective of a girl teen with hearing loss, and I think that is a good point. From the looks of the program, it sounds like they had planned for another person to be on the panel who was a girl, I assume a conflict came up.
College Life 101
Presenters: Mark Leekoff, Ari Sagiv, Dorie Shapiro, Lindsey Rentmeester
This was another panel, and since I attended the same session at the last convention, I had a pretty good idea of what to expect (although it was all different people). It's fascinating how one person's experience can be vastly different from that of another. Most of the panel from the 2008 convention, if I recall correctly, said that while they didn't outright state their hearing loss when applying for college, they mentioned it in their application essays. One person on the 2010 panel said that they did not want to disclose their hearing loss, a couple of people said they did, and one even went as far as saying that it would be dishonest not to disclose it. I do think he had a point there, and he went on to say that if a college doesn't want you with your hearing loss, you really can't expect them want to give you accommodations. That being said, the panelists still had issues with accommodations even if they did disclose their hearing loss. One girl remarked on the irony of being in an Audiology program, and having the school come to her and question her need for CART and other assistive services for her hearing. I don't think she said the name of the Grad school, but she ultimately made the decision to leave for another school that she felt was a better fit. It also came to light that even with the ADA in place, people won't necessarily follow it. One guy was saying that in an interview (for medical school, I believe) the interviewer actually asked him "I know that many people with hearing loss have multiple other health problems. Do you have any other health issues I should know about?" This, I came to find out, is illegal and a huge red flag. The only thing that you are allowed to be asked in an interview regarding hearing loss or any other disabilities is "Do you have any disability that would interfere with your ability to do this job?" The interviewee does have the option of bringing up and talking about his/her hearing loss as much as desired, but it is not required. I learned a lot from these speakers.
Health Care Professionals: Learn from our Experiences
Presenters: Stacey Carroll, Ph.D., ANP-BC; Christopher Lehfeldt, DDS; and Lindsey Rentmeester, Au.D.;
I was really looking forward to this session, since I had not ever met someone with hearing loss in the medical field. The panel featured a deaf dentist, nurse, occupational therapist, and audiologist. They also planned on having a deaf physician there, but he ended up having a family emergency and was not able to make it. There was a wide age range, from (these are my estimates) mid 20's to 40's. They all had great stories to tell, and the vast majority of the people that spoke had experienced an overwhelming amount of adversity and doubt when going into the medical field by teachers, bosses, and employees, but were greeted with open arms by patients. I found this to be very interesting, as I would have thought gaining a patient's trust would be the biggest problem.
The occupational therapist told about her first rotation as a student, in which she was placed with a teacher/boss who pretty much from the first day told her he was going to fail her because of her hearing loss. She described her frustration with working with someone determined to fail you, and how discouraged she became, even taking some time off after to decide if it was still something she wanted to do. She ultimately persevered, but this really demonstrated to me how much harder we (people with hearing loss) have to work to prove ourselves.
The nurse spoke about only the students with the 30 best GPA's getting into nursing school. She had an extremely good GPA, and recalled her professor calling her into his office to tell her she wasn't going to go on to nursing school. She was a little bit confused, and asked if she had not been in the top 30. "No, that's not it." the professor had said, "It's just that you're... 'unique.'" She went to the dean of the school (who, by some stroke of luck, happened to have a deaf son) who assured her that he would handle it, and she obviously ended up getting in!
One thing I found really exciting is that they have developed transparent surgical masks (patent pending), and are just waiting on a manufacturer. This is great news, not just for health care professionals with hearing loss, but also for patients with hearing loss. I cannot tell you how many times I've had to remind my dentist or orthodontist to "take off the mask, please" when they are talking to me (this is typically when one or both of my CI's have been knocked off in the chair!) They passed around the mask, now I'm wishing I had taken a picture. The part that goes around the face/lip area is transparent, but the part that goes under the chin is made of the same material as typical surgical masks, as is the part that hooks around your ears. I really hope they are mass manufactured soon, as there is a huge need and consumer audience.
After a long day of speakers, one of my friends from the past convention, her mom, my mom, and myself rushed to catch the shuttle to go to Downtown Disney. It was really cool, with a bunch of shops and restaurants lining the path. There had been some confusion as to what time the Opening General Session started that evening, and we ended up missing it, so I can't comment on that. We got there right in time for the Exhibition Hall grand opening/reception. This year, they were clever and gave out "game cards" with 9 of the exhibitors names' on them. Each card was different, and the idea was to get stamps from all 9 of the exhibitors on your game card. You then placed the card in a drawing, and were entered to win one of many great prizes (an iPod; all expenses paid for 2 people for the next convention in Scottsdale, AZ; a ton of books from the AG Bell bookstore worth hundreds of dollars, and more). Of course, in the process, the exhibitors would try to get you interested in their products. We didn't win, but I still loved the idea.
I explored the exhibit hall with a couple of my friends from the teen program, and they really did have a lot of things in it. There was a lot of free stuff! As always, the 3 CI companies had gigantic areas as opposed to a tiny booth that most other companies had. We received a lot of goodies from Cochlear- from cookies to beach balls to tote bags. We also got our picture taken with Kayci the Cochlear Koala, but we had to leave before it was printed. (if any Cochlear employee still has the pictures and wants to email it to me, please do!)
Saturday, May 29, 2010
a big mush of information
Remember how I said that I'm occasionally indecisive?
Well, I wasn't lying! I still have an announcement, just not the original one that I had planned.
So, recently I had time to do some reflecting. And, the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like the right choice. I'm giving up orchestra.
Don't get me wrong- I've enjoyed it these past four years. I've learned so much about music, and I have no doubt that playing the violin has allowed me to have an even greater appreciation for music.
And yet..
It's been a bit of a love/hate relationship. While I enjoy playing it, I'm not particularly gifted at it. In addition to not feeling like I'm progressing, I also tried to think of the benefits of staying in orchestra. Last year, I had to write a plan of the classes I would take throughout my four years of high school, to see how I would get all of my credits in. I only had enough room to take orchestra the first two years of high school. That would mean, more than likely, that I'd be quitting after next year. The violin just isn't something I can see myself doing throughout my adulthood. It's more of a hobby than a passion. And, yes, it does look good to colleges if you stick with a musical instrument.
I recently did some reflecting on that too. When it came time to signing up for classes for next year, many of my friends decided to sign up for an AP elective class, almost exclusively for the GPA credit/points. I thought about it, and I figured a lower GPA is worth having a social life (and sleep, for that matter). I'm still taking plenty of challenging classes, just not bogging myself down with them. I decided to take a class (which is supposedly quite easy, but very interesting) about medical science, which is something I'm very interested in. I had no doubt about sticking with French, of course.
So that left me with one more elective class. At the time, I signed up for orchestra. I changed my mind a few weeks ago, and that was when I began the frantic search for another class to take in its place.
Well, I was going to tell you that I was taking sign language instead. That, make no mistake, it wasn't some symbolic gesture of me trading in music for ASL. I was going to say that I can't give my opinion about a language, a culture, that I've never truly experienced. An exciting adventure, to try something new.
And then..
I went to talk to my counselor. I explained everything, and told her that I felt ASL was pretty much the only other alternative class I could take. She asked me if there was anything else I was really interested in.
I told her how I love to write, and I really wanted to take yearbook. I was disappointed how I made my decision too late, seeing as the deadline to apply was nearly a month ago. Well some emails, a few rushed references, and an interview later...
I will be on my high school's 2010-2011 yearbook staff :)
And, for what it's worth, I just might consider taking violin lessons outside of school. It's still an option, and I've yet to completely decide. Also, this doesn't mean I won't ever take ASL...just not this year.
....I wonder if I should change the blog name?
Well, I wasn't lying! I still have an announcement, just not the original one that I had planned.
So, recently I had time to do some reflecting. And, the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like the right choice. I'm giving up orchestra.
Don't get me wrong- I've enjoyed it these past four years. I've learned so much about music, and I have no doubt that playing the violin has allowed me to have an even greater appreciation for music.
And yet..
It's been a bit of a love/hate relationship. While I enjoy playing it, I'm not particularly gifted at it. In addition to not feeling like I'm progressing, I also tried to think of the benefits of staying in orchestra. Last year, I had to write a plan of the classes I would take throughout my four years of high school, to see how I would get all of my credits in. I only had enough room to take orchestra the first two years of high school. That would mean, more than likely, that I'd be quitting after next year. The violin just isn't something I can see myself doing throughout my adulthood. It's more of a hobby than a passion. And, yes, it does look good to colleges if you stick with a musical instrument.
I recently did some reflecting on that too. When it came time to signing up for classes for next year, many of my friends decided to sign up for an AP elective class, almost exclusively for the GPA credit/points. I thought about it, and I figured a lower GPA is worth having a social life (and sleep, for that matter). I'm still taking plenty of challenging classes, just not bogging myself down with them. I decided to take a class (which is supposedly quite easy, but very interesting) about medical science, which is something I'm very interested in. I had no doubt about sticking with French, of course.
So that left me with one more elective class. At the time, I signed up for orchestra. I changed my mind a few weeks ago, and that was when I began the frantic search for another class to take in its place.
Well, I was going to tell you that I was taking sign language instead. That, make no mistake, it wasn't some symbolic gesture of me trading in music for ASL. I was going to say that I can't give my opinion about a language, a culture, that I've never truly experienced. An exciting adventure, to try something new.
And then..
I went to talk to my counselor. I explained everything, and told her that I felt ASL was pretty much the only other alternative class I could take. She asked me if there was anything else I was really interested in.
I told her how I love to write, and I really wanted to take yearbook. I was disappointed how I made my decision too late, seeing as the deadline to apply was nearly a month ago. Well some emails, a few rushed references, and an interview later...
I will be on my high school's 2010-2011 yearbook staff :)
And, for what it's worth, I just might consider taking violin lessons outside of school. It's still an option, and I've yet to completely decide. Also, this doesn't mean I won't ever take ASL...just not this year.
....I wonder if I should change the blog name?
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Why yes, I am bragging
Do you ever have those weeks where it seems like nothing is going your way? And you just want to go sit in a corner and cry?
Well that's how this past week was for me. And the week before that. I don't want to go into a long rant about it, but there were a lot of things that I had been hoping for..that just didn't happen. Then I got (and still have) bronchitis, and I kind of felt like locking myself in my room for a while. We've had a week of TAKS testing, but the freshmen only had one test (while the sophomores had 3). That meant half of my week was spent sitting in class doing nothing. Absolutely nothing, except watch movies that were rated G or reading. Which can really old after a while. And, to top it all of, my Friday evening was spent in the school cafeteria taking a practice AP exam.
So, to put it mildly, I wasn't exactly wild about going to my classes today (after 3 hours of sitting in silence, that is).
I walked into my French class and looked up at the board. "National French Exam- Top 10% scores", the board read. There were 5 names.
Mine was one of them.
It felt awesome.
For those of you wondering, the National French Exam is about 50 % listening. The listening portion is typically played for all of the kids at the same time using a CD player. It's difficult for me to understand voices in English (let alone in French) through electronics so I got special permission for the script to be read to me by the teacher administering the test. I don't get any extra repeats, just a live voice that uses the FM, as well as that I can lipread if need be. That's also what I do for all of my French quizzes and tests, and I can assure you I wouldn't be doing nearly as well if I hadn't asked for this accommodation.
Well that's how this past week was for me. And the week before that. I don't want to go into a long rant about it, but there were a lot of things that I had been hoping for..that just didn't happen. Then I got (and still have) bronchitis, and I kind of felt like locking myself in my room for a while. We've had a week of TAKS testing, but the freshmen only had one test (while the sophomores had 3). That meant half of my week was spent sitting in class doing nothing. Absolutely nothing, except watch movies that were rated G or reading. Which can really old after a while. And, to top it all of, my Friday evening was spent in the school cafeteria taking a practice AP exam.
So, to put it mildly, I wasn't exactly wild about going to my classes today (after 3 hours of sitting in silence, that is).
I walked into my French class and looked up at the board. "National French Exam- Top 10% scores", the board read. There were 5 names.
Mine was one of them.
It felt awesome.
" While they were saying among themselves it cannot be done, it was done" - Helen Keller
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Scare- Part 1
Disclaimer: If you're looking for insights on hearing loss, this is not the post to read. However, if you're looking for insights of a freshman girl, who just happens to have hearing loss, and to hear about one really eventful day, you might be interested in reading this. This is completely true, and occurred this morning.
Along with the other 99% of the world, I hate Monday mornings. And this one was no exception. It wasn't a particularly bad morning, though. I'd just left orchestra after a pretty entertaining rehearsal, and was now in my 2nd period class.
We were working on group projects, so our class met in the library. Upon the ringing of the tardy bell, I noticed the absence of one of our group members, who I'll call Jill. I didn't think much of it, until she walked in late and whispered something to the teacher. She then dashed over to another member of our group, who I'll call Sara, and began whispering into her ear. I watched as the smile she was wearing collapsed, and the color quickly drained from her face. There was a look that couldn't be described as anything other than sheer panic. I watched her discreely pull out her phone and start frantically texting.
No sooner had the girl arrived to the library, then an administrator came and took Jill out of class. I wasn't particularly concerned. She probably caught someone cheating, or saw someone doing drugs. Sure, it's not something I'd ever do, but it's an everyday occurrence at my school, and probably most other public high schools. I then watched Sara walk over to our teacher, who was sitting just a few computers away from us. They talked for a good 5 minutes, and I tried my darndest to lipread. I couldn't get anything.
I noticed the other members of our group starting to float towards the teacher and eavesdropping on the conversation. They then began to say their own two cents, so I figured it wasn't a private conversation anymore. Jill became back, and was talking to them too. I inched my chair towards them.
My group and teacher looked at me, but no one spoke.
A shooting. That certainly didn't happen everyday. My mind was suddenly inundated with a million thoughts., and I began to notice the frightened looks on many of my classmates' faces.
To be continued..
Along with the other 99% of the world, I hate Monday mornings. And this one was no exception. It wasn't a particularly bad morning, though. I'd just left orchestra after a pretty entertaining rehearsal, and was now in my 2nd period class.
We were working on group projects, so our class met in the library. Upon the ringing of the tardy bell, I noticed the absence of one of our group members, who I'll call Jill. I didn't think much of it, until she walked in late and whispered something to the teacher. She then dashed over to another member of our group, who I'll call Sara, and began whispering into her ear. I watched as the smile she was wearing collapsed, and the color quickly drained from her face. There was a look that couldn't be described as anything other than sheer panic. I watched her discreely pull out her phone and start frantically texting.
No sooner had the girl arrived to the library, then an administrator came and took Jill out of class. I wasn't particularly concerned. She probably caught someone cheating, or saw someone doing drugs. Sure, it's not something I'd ever do, but it's an everyday occurrence at my school, and probably most other public high schools. I then watched Sara walk over to our teacher, who was sitting just a few computers away from us. They talked for a good 5 minutes, and I tried my darndest to lipread. I couldn't get anything.
I noticed the other members of our group starting to float towards the teacher and eavesdropping on the conversation. They then began to say their own two cents, so I figured it wasn't a private conversation anymore. Jill became back, and was talking to them too. I inched my chair towards them.
"I wouldn't worry about it. It's probably just a rumor. People say things they don't mean all of the time." I heard my teacher say."Wait... What's a rumor?!" I asked, desperate to hear the latest gossip.
My group and teacher looked at me, but no one spoke.
"Would anyone like to share this information with me?" I said, half kidding.Jill finally spoke up. "Someone told me that there's going to be a shooting today."
A shooting. That certainly didn't happen everyday. My mind was suddenly inundated with a million thoughts., and I began to notice the frightened looks on many of my classmates' faces.
To be continued..
Monday, February 15, 2010
Unexpected Twist
The day came, and we were armed and ready. Both of my parents went to the meeting, which is a pretty big deal since usually it's jut me and my mom. My dad went around asking each person their name and job description, and there was a strong feeling of tension in the room. My dad, a lawyer, was being quite successful at being intimidating. That is, until he asked what an IEP is... Then everyone in the room started revealing their true selves, as they no longer saw him as much of a threat.
My parents began talking about the unfairness of the evaluation and handing out my audiologist's letter. My dad requested an independent evaluation.
"No. That's not necessary," said the lady who was mostly in charge of the evaluation So, apparently they can say no.. Guess we weren't expecting that to happen..
She then went on to say that in Special Education, in order to show a need for further services, you cannot be making any progress with the assistance/IEP currently in place. With the A's/high B's I currently have, that doesn't demonstrate that I'm failing to make progress.
"I have no doubt that you have to work much harder than everyone else, but that's just the way the law works."
My parents urged me to tell my story, from my point of view. (I'd already done it at every past meeting, but they wanted the people who performed the evaluation to get a better understanding of what I go through)
I told my story about how frustrated I was at the school. How I felt as if sometimes, I didn't even need to go to school because I missed so much of the discussion, it's worthless. That I didn't understand why they were fighting tooth and nail to prevent me from having something that could actually help me. I told them how tired I was. Tired of trying to keep up, tired of fighting- just tired. Sometime during those sentences, tears started streaming down my face. Ugh, I hate crying, especially in front of people I don't like. Yet, that's what happened at every single meeting ( I would then swear I'd never attend another one, only for the whole thing to start all over when there was another meeting.)
"Oh! I wish I'd known you were this frustrated when we'd done the evaluation. This changes everything." Everyone looked up at her...was she kidding?
"I had no idea this was taking such a toll on you and that you felt you needed it so much." Yeah. Because I just asked for CART because I thought it would be fun to fiddle around with...? (note sarcasm)
The lady then said that while I don't have an educational need, that she could put down that I have an emotional need and get me CART that way.
As, I'm sure you can imagine, that was the most bizarre 5 minutes of the meeting. Heck, that was the most bizarre 5 minutes of my life! Pretty sure this song started playing through my head..
(pause music at the bottom of the page)
Not so fast..
"But," she continued, "you'd still have to change schools."
Change schools? You see, they don't offer CART at my school, and aren't planning on it, no matter how much I beg/plead/cry. But, they do at another school that is about as far away as my current school from my house. This other school is a mainstream school, but it's smaller and has a fairly large deaf ed program. They send all the kids in need of CART or interpreting services there. Apparently it's cheaper/more efficient to have it all on one campus.
This meeting was halfway through the school year. I'd finally been adjusting to my new school. Now they wanted to toss me somewhere else? As much as I struggled at my current school, I have a great group of friends, and nice teachers. They just want me to walk away from all of that?
So, that leaves you where I am now. The decision making process. A little bit has happened since then (technology-wise), and I will post more on the pros and cons of each school.
But, for now, my wonderful reader, I leave you with that. I would really appreciate any more input you have, with regards to the current situation. What do you think...What would you do?
*I'm experimenting with my blog banner at the top. Still haven't been able to make anything I like, since I don't have any tools like Photoshop or InDesign at home. If anyone is generous, gifted in the design department, and would like to design something (for free) then it would be completely awesome!*
My parents began talking about the unfairness of the evaluation and handing out my audiologist's letter. My dad requested an independent evaluation.
"No. That's not necessary," said the lady who was mostly in charge of the evaluation So, apparently they can say no.. Guess we weren't expecting that to happen..
She then went on to say that in Special Education, in order to show a need for further services, you cannot be making any progress with the assistance/IEP currently in place. With the A's/high B's I currently have, that doesn't demonstrate that I'm failing to make progress.
"I have no doubt that you have to work much harder than everyone else, but that's just the way the law works."
My parents urged me to tell my story, from my point of view. (I'd already done it at every past meeting, but they wanted the people who performed the evaluation to get a better understanding of what I go through)
I told my story about how frustrated I was at the school. How I felt as if sometimes, I didn't even need to go to school because I missed so much of the discussion, it's worthless. That I didn't understand why they were fighting tooth and nail to prevent me from having something that could actually help me. I told them how tired I was. Tired of trying to keep up, tired of fighting- just tired. Sometime during those sentences, tears started streaming down my face. Ugh, I hate crying, especially in front of people I don't like. Yet, that's what happened at every single meeting ( I would then swear I'd never attend another one, only for the whole thing to start all over when there was another meeting.)
"Oh! I wish I'd known you were this frustrated when we'd done the evaluation. This changes everything." Everyone looked up at her...was she kidding?
"I had no idea this was taking such a toll on you and that you felt you needed it so much." Yeah. Because I just asked for CART because I thought it would be fun to fiddle around with...? (note sarcasm)
The lady then said that while I don't have an educational need, that she could put down that I have an emotional need and get me CART that way.
As, I'm sure you can imagine, that was the most bizarre 5 minutes of the meeting. Heck, that was the most bizarre 5 minutes of my life! Pretty sure this song started playing through my head..
(pause music at the bottom of the page)
Not so fast..
"But," she continued, "you'd still have to change schools."
Change schools? You see, they don't offer CART at my school, and aren't planning on it, no matter how much I beg/plead/cry. But, they do at another school that is about as far away as my current school from my house. This other school is a mainstream school, but it's smaller and has a fairly large deaf ed program. They send all the kids in need of CART or interpreting services there. Apparently it's cheaper/more efficient to have it all on one campus.
This meeting was halfway through the school year. I'd finally been adjusting to my new school. Now they wanted to toss me somewhere else? As much as I struggled at my current school, I have a great group of friends, and nice teachers. They just want me to walk away from all of that?
So, that leaves you where I am now. The decision making process. A little bit has happened since then (technology-wise), and I will post more on the pros and cons of each school.
But, for now, my wonderful reader, I leave you with that. I would really appreciate any more input you have, with regards to the current situation. What do you think...What would you do?
*I'm experimenting with my blog banner at the top. Still haven't been able to make anything I like, since I don't have any tools like Photoshop or InDesign at home. If anyone is generous, gifted in the design department, and would like to design something (for free) then it would be completely awesome!*
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Preparing for Battle- High School part 3
Before having a meeting, my parents wanted to make sure we knew what our rights were, and that nothing (else) would be unfair. Oftentimes on blogs, when I see parents talk about their kids struggling (often because the kids themselves haven't been around enough kids with hearing loss, so they feel "different,") I recommend AG Bell. Join, I say. Go to a convention, it will be a tremendous help for both parents and children. It's not because I'm some crazy die-hard oralist with an agenda (and really, most of the people in it aren't either!) It's because AG Bell has been such a help through all of this- both parens of people I met who have been through it before, as well as a lawyer who belongs. For almost no pay, they've helped us tremendously and given direction when we had no clue where we were going. Not to mention the conventions are tons of fun, and if you would like to see my smiling face, then come to Orlando!
From the lawyer's perspective, he told us it would be really difficult to win any sort of lawsuit based on educational need. Apparently, there was once a very big court case similar to mine, and the school district won. Plus, we don't really want to go the legal route- it's messy, expensive, and would just waste more time. Like Kim said, they had broken the law from a civil rights perspective.Not so much for the denial of CART, but for the ridiculous evaluation and the fact they provided almost none of the previous accomodations (captions, video notes) until it was months into the school year. He also said we had a right to an independent evaluation, and to request one. We planned to go into the meeting and request it.
My audiologist was also quite angry about the report, and thought it would do some good to have a hearing test to prove that I have trouble hearing in a classroom environment. I think this was some sort of newer test- not any of that HINT stuff with annoying white noise. This test had both male and female speakers (with extrememly random sentences) and the backgroumd noise was actual people speaking, as you would find in the real world (a classroom). With my concentration solely on listening (not on comprehend/understanding, or writing things down) I made somewhere around 75%. Apparently it's a pretty difficult test and most CI users score significantly lower than that, but it was still pretty telling. Most people with average hearing score 100% on the test, without having to put so much effort into it. Don't you think it would make a huge difference if you missed a fourth of everything said in the classroom? My audiologist thought so too, and wrote a letter to the evaluators that we brought to the meeting.
Wow, I'm just dragging this out aren't I? Promise, the next post will be about the actual meeting!
From the lawyer's perspective, he told us it would be really difficult to win any sort of lawsuit based on educational need. Apparently, there was once a very big court case similar to mine, and the school district won. Plus, we don't really want to go the legal route- it's messy, expensive, and would just waste more time. Like Kim said, they had broken the law from a civil rights perspective.Not so much for the denial of CART, but for the ridiculous evaluation and the fact they provided almost none of the previous accomodations (captions, video notes) until it was months into the school year. He also said we had a right to an independent evaluation, and to request one. We planned to go into the meeting and request it.
My audiologist was also quite angry about the report, and thought it would do some good to have a hearing test to prove that I have trouble hearing in a classroom environment. I think this was some sort of newer test- not any of that HINT stuff with annoying white noise. This test had both male and female speakers (with extrememly random sentences) and the backgroumd noise was actual people speaking, as you would find in the real world (a classroom). With my concentration solely on listening (not on comprehend/understanding, or writing things down) I made somewhere around 75%. Apparently it's a pretty difficult test and most CI users score significantly lower than that, but it was still pretty telling. Most people with average hearing score 100% on the test, without having to put so much effort into it. Don't you think it would make a huge difference if you missed a fourth of everything said in the classroom? My audiologist thought so too, and wrote a letter to the evaluators that we brought to the meeting.
Wow, I'm just dragging this out aren't I? Promise, the next post will be about the actual meeting!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Too Smart for Assistance
I had corresponded with Sara about my school situation a while back, and she reminded me that I left out a bit of the evaluation. Here's her comment.
Full disclosure- we got our class rank for our time in high school so far. I'm told that in most places GPA and class rank are not that big of a deal. Well here, it's kind of a huge deal. After each test, people actually sit there and calculate out their GPAs. The pressure to do well and rank better than others is enormous. I'd rather be measured against my own success and improvements than that of everyone else. Anyway, I wasn't planning on looking at mine. After half of my friends ended up being ranked in the top 10 (not the top 10 percent. The top 10 people. Out of 820. That's like...insane.) I went home and looked. I'm in the top 6%, which is nothing to sneeze at. Could be better, but it's not like kid swith hearing loss are held to much of a standard at my school anyway.
I'm going to start a new post about the meeting, since this one's getting long. Keep this in mind as you read the conversation that goes on between me and the others at the meeting..
"You should post the rest of this story. The insane part is that they don't think you "need" CART or anything because your grades are so good. They don't get that you can be SMART and still STRUGGLE.Which was another aspect of it. I'm pretty sure they took one look at my grades, and scoffed at the idea of giving me services. A large part of the evaluation was weighted on my grades and test scores (apparently the words "commended" and "superior" don't exactly scream "Needs help!") My grades certainly aren't/weren't bad, although they'd be better if I actually learned a thing or two in class. I might actually get some sleep with CART, instead of having to learn what I miss on my own. Maybe I wouldn't be so frustrated, maybe I could actually relax, if I'm just given equal access to material.
I was in the same boat, but I sadly don't have any advice since we never got anywhere with getting me CART until I was taking graduate classes..."
Full disclosure- we got our class rank for our time in high school so far. I'm told that in most places GPA and class rank are not that big of a deal. Well here, it's kind of a huge deal. After each test, people actually sit there and calculate out their GPAs. The pressure to do well and rank better than others is enormous. I'd rather be measured against my own success and improvements than that of everyone else. Anyway, I wasn't planning on looking at mine. After half of my friends ended up being ranked in the top 10 (not the top 10 percent. The top 10 people. Out of 820. That's like...insane.) I went home and looked. I'm in the top 6%, which is nothing to sneeze at. Could be better, but it's not like kid swith hearing loss are held to much of a standard at my school anyway.
I'm going to start a new post about the meeting, since this one's getting long. Keep this in mind as you read the conversation that goes on between me and the others at the meeting..
Saturday, February 6, 2010
School/CART Stuff- Part 2
Two days before the promised evaluation report was due, I noticed two women who were at the previous meetings about CART come into my class. I should probably note that we specifically told the evaluators that they should contact me or the teachers with the days they were thinking of coming, so as not to come on a test or video day, The teacher had told them they could sit in the back of the room. Right after the bell rang, my teacher said, "Oh, by the way, they're going to be taking a test for the entire class period. I hope that's okay."
One of the evaluator ladies got an angry look on her face, said, "No." and walked out. The other one followed.
Okay, then...
The next day, the two ladies reappeared in a different class. This class is one of my hardest, largest, most discussion-based classes. I expected them to come over and talk to me, or at least look at my notes sometime during the class. Why do that when you can simply sit in a chair for an hour?
The day they came, this is how the class went:
-We took a quiz over the previous night's reading
- There was a small amount of lecturing followed by a large amount of class discussion, which I struggled to follow and didn't participate in.
-We had to work on something individually
-We then had to discuss it with our table partner. It was really noisy, and the girl that sits next to me seemed to be much more interested in flirting with the guy in front of us, so I didn't get much out of that discussion..
The class ended, and the women left .As promised, the evaluation for CART was delivered to me the following day. I knew, from their one observsation, that the whole thing was going to be a joke. Here are some quotes from the evaluation.
And, here comes the best part, which they said after stating their denial of CART,
(Please note the sarcasm...)
It just kills me how every single observation they made is about how I "appeared" to comprehend or I "appeared" to understand. They're judging my acting, not hearing, skills.
This occurred before the winter break. My next post will be about the meeting we had following this evaluation...
One of the evaluator ladies got an angry look on her face, said, "No." and walked out. The other one followed.
Okay, then...
The next day, the two ladies reappeared in a different class. This class is one of my hardest, largest, most discussion-based classes. I expected them to come over and talk to me, or at least look at my notes sometime during the class. Why do that when you can simply sit in a chair for an hour?
The day they came, this is how the class went:
-We took a quiz over the previous night's reading
- There was a small amount of lecturing followed by a large amount of class discussion, which I struggled to follow and didn't participate in.
-We had to work on something individually
-We then had to discuss it with our table partner. It was really noisy, and the girl that sits next to me seemed to be much more interested in flirting with the guy in front of us, so I didn't get much out of that discussion..
The class ended, and the women left .As promised, the evaluation for CART was delivered to me the following day. I knew, from their one observsation, that the whole thing was going to be a joke. Here are some quotes from the evaluation.
"We did not see (LAM) enter the class discussion. She watched and did not appear to be confused."
"Socially, she appeared comfortable with her table partner. They did not appear to have difficulty communicating with each other"
"The cafeteria was very loud and she appeared to have no difficulty communicating. She was smiling and animated while conversing with her friends." No, I was not aware that they were watching me from across the cafeteria at lunch. The idea of it makes me strangely uncomfortable, in addition to the fact it's completely unrelated to the trouble I have in the classroom.
And, here comes the best part, which they said after stating their denial of CART,
"It is even possible that CART would be a hindrance to her during classroom discussions because of the lag time between the speaker talking and the captioner producing the printed word. She would be listening to one set of information while reading what was said previously. Taking into account the (ha!) quiet environment and her ability to use her cochlear implants to listen and speak, it was though that CART might be a disadvantage to her classroom access and performance."Isn't it just absolutely amazing how much you can gather from watching me for an hour? Because, as we all know, it's not like people with hearing loss bluff or pretend to understand or anything. We just do our best to appear utterly confused and dumbfounded whenever we misunderstand or can't hear something.
(Please note the sarcasm...)
It just kills me how every single observation they made is about how I "appeared" to comprehend or I "appeared" to understand. They're judging my acting, not hearing, skills.
This occurred before the winter break. My next post will be about the meeting we had following this evaluation...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Countdowns and Ramblings
These are some things that I'm looking forward to for the next month or so...
Thanksgiving Break- 3 days
We're driving up to New Orleans to visit family over Thanksgiving. I'm ready for a much-need break! I'm thankful for a lot too, but that's another post. No, we won't be staying in the same hotel as last time!
Exams- 3 Weeks
err... no comment on this one. Hope I can catch at least a few hours of sleep a night! I am excited by the fact that we only have to go to school for half a day for all of exam week.
Winter Break- 4 weeks
I cannot believe that in a month I will have made it halfway through my first year of high school. (never mind the fact that the second semester is a lot longer..) I really want to do an update on what's going on at school, but so far nothing has really happened. There's been some "evaluations" (it would be a joke to actually call it that) to try to get some technology (any sort of real-time captioning for just a few of my classes) which ended with the verdict that I'm doing just fine. Then there was a meeting, and the verdict somehow changed to "maybe, but you'd have to change schools." This is the LAST thing I want to do, so for now we're planning on trying out something that I'm pretty sure has never been done in the classroom before. Look for an update once it's actually been tried out... whenever that may be.
Visit up North- 4 1/2 weeks
I'm super-excited to say that I'll be flying to IL to visit a friend who I haven't seen in nearly a year and a half. We first met at a convention and have continued to stay in touch starting the second I got to the airport! I'm pretty sure a day doesn't go by that we don't talk to each other. I've mentioned her once or twice, and she sometimes comments on here under "She Loves to Act." We have a lot in common and finally convinced our parents to let us visit each other. I get impatient every time I think about it! I'm also excited to see REAL snow (hopefully!) and see how people celebrate Christmas (I'm pretty sure this will be the first Christmas I don't spend in a movie theater and eat in a Chinese restaurant... If you're Jewish you know what I'm talking about ;)) I still need to find a coat...
Nucleus System 5- Releases for Freedom recipients in a week and a 1/2
Freedom users and parents of users- will you be upgrading? If so, when? I more than likely will, but just want some other people's input on why they are or aren't planning to upgrade. There is no software (hearing)difference, so there's pretty much no chance of getting insurance coverage. There's a good chance that there will be software upgrades (for the N5) in two or so years, so insurance coverage may eventually be available, but who knows. I really like the fact that it's so much lighter, and I actually prefer the remote- if I'm having trouble changing to FM mode or something with my processor, I'd actually be able to see what I was doing! My second ear was implanted after March 2009, so we'll be getting an extra $1,000 back for that side with the Freedom trade-in if/when I choose to upgrade.
Thoughts?
Thanksgiving Break- 3 days
We're driving up to New Orleans to visit family over Thanksgiving. I'm ready for a much-need break! I'm thankful for a lot too, but that's another post. No, we won't be staying in the same hotel as last time!
Exams- 3 Weeks
err... no comment on this one. Hope I can catch at least a few hours of sleep a night! I am excited by the fact that we only have to go to school for half a day for all of exam week.
Winter Break- 4 weeks
I cannot believe that in a month I will have made it halfway through my first year of high school. (never mind the fact that the second semester is a lot longer..) I really want to do an update on what's going on at school, but so far nothing has really happened. There's been some "evaluations" (it would be a joke to actually call it that) to try to get some technology (any sort of real-time captioning for just a few of my classes) which ended with the verdict that I'm doing just fine. Then there was a meeting, and the verdict somehow changed to "maybe, but you'd have to change schools." This is the LAST thing I want to do, so for now we're planning on trying out something that I'm pretty sure has never been done in the classroom before. Look for an update once it's actually been tried out... whenever that may be.
Visit up North- 4 1/2 weeks
I'm super-excited to say that I'll be flying to IL to visit a friend who I haven't seen in nearly a year and a half. We first met at a convention and have continued to stay in touch starting the second I got to the airport! I'm pretty sure a day doesn't go by that we don't talk to each other. I've mentioned her once or twice, and she sometimes comments on here under "She Loves to Act." We have a lot in common and finally convinced our parents to let us visit each other. I get impatient every time I think about it! I'm also excited to see REAL snow (hopefully!) and see how people celebrate Christmas (I'm pretty sure this will be the first Christmas I don't spend in a movie theater and eat in a Chinese restaurant... If you're Jewish you know what I'm talking about ;)) I still need to find a coat...
Nucleus System 5- Releases for Freedom recipients in a week and a 1/2
Freedom users and parents of users- will you be upgrading? If so, when? I more than likely will, but just want some other people's input on why they are or aren't planning to upgrade. There is no software (hearing)difference, so there's pretty much no chance of getting insurance coverage. There's a good chance that there will be software upgrades (for the N5) in two or so years, so insurance coverage may eventually be available, but who knows. I really like the fact that it's so much lighter, and I actually prefer the remote- if I'm having trouble changing to FM mode or something with my processor, I'd actually be able to see what I was doing! My second ear was implanted after March 2009, so we'll be getting an extra $1,000 back for that side with the Freedom trade-in if/when I choose to upgrade.
Thoughts?
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Amazing
Good thing about implants it nothing is ever too loud, and you never have to worry about going deaf ;)
I even got to touch Taylor Swift's arm! We had awesome seats and were near the aisle, and she walked down our aisle and was hugging all of these random people, it was so cool! I wish I'd gotten good pictures, but I left my camera at home and my phone's camera isn't the best quality...oh well, I have memories!
Taylor had some pretty good advice too... here are the lessons I took away...
- It's good to be different in high school (and life), even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.
- No matter how much high school sucks, hang in there the because the best days of life your life are yet to come. (I was pretty relieved to hear that... I was starting to feel like I had nothing to look forward to)
- The best revenge is success... and a song about the guy that broke your heart :) (okay, maybe the last part doesn't exactly apply to me!)
My back and neck hurt, which is probably due to the tumble I took down the school stairs on Wednesday. Yeah, I wasn't kidding when I said "rough week."
AWESOME BIRTHDAY PRESENT!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Not-So-Quick Update
Things are better!
I feel like this whole "this is great," then followed shortly by "this is terrible!" thing is getting old.. and it is. To use one of the most over-used and annoying metaphors, life is a roller coaster. And in high school that roller coaster seems to have a lot more dips and loops...
Here's the deal:
The Bad News: I'm back to square one, with no idea of what the problem is. The doctor said further testing can be done, and it's possible it could be related to stress. We'll see...
I feel like this whole "this is great," then followed shortly by "this is terrible!" thing is getting old.. and it is. To use one of the most over-used and annoying metaphors, life is a roller coaster. And in high school that roller coaster seems to have a lot more dips and loops...
Here's the deal:
- I had a conference with my mom and some important people from the school/special ed on Thursday. I went in skeptical, and came out optimistic. By the end of the meeting, I felt that everyone understood exactly what my frustrations were, in addition to having plenty of ideas to remedy the situation. If everyone follows up on their words (and in a timely manner), my days in school will be much less stressful.
- The meeting must have really gotten the ball rolling. Today, for the first time EVER this year, we watched a movie that WAS CAPTIONED! (I can hear the masses cheering and applauding at their computer screens...Yes, I was pretty darn excited too!)
- You may or may not have noticed that some of my posts have gone missing, more specifially ones that were related to school and went into great detail. I know these were some of the most interest-generating posts, and I have saved them as drafts, and may re-post them someday. These posts were not removed with the intent of hiding what I have struggled with, but because of something completely different. I have this really cool thing that allows me to see where my visitors are coming from (cities), in addition to what search words lead them to my page. I only got this because I was starting to get curious about my audience. However, upon looking at my "stats" from these past few days, I saw some things that made me feel very uncomfortable. Basically, this is a public blog, and anyone, (whether I want them to or not) can read it. I think I've said more than enough about this for you to understand what I'm hinting at, but if you would like to be further updated or have further questions on the school situation, feel free to leave a comment (and an email) and I would be more than happy to discuss it...privately. (for now, anyway)
- Remember how I wrote about my stomach bothering me waaay back? Well it never went away, and was especially bad this past couple of days. I went to the doctor and he was suspicious of gallstones. This pain has definitely added to my stress-level, and I wanted to find out NOW if I was going to have to have (yet another) surgery. So, the next day I fasted and drank more water than I thought my poor bladder could ever hold for this test.
The Bad News: I'm back to square one, with no idea of what the problem is. The doctor said further testing can be done, and it's possible it could be related to stress. We'll see...
- Here's my happy moment of the day: We had a French test yesterday. It was part written, part multiple choice, and part listening. I was absent the day before the test, but decided to take it anyway. Today, we got the grades back and got to look at the questions on the test that we missed. As we were nearing the end of going over it, someone raised their hand and asked "Did anyone make a 100 on this test?" The teacher proceeded to say that someone did, indeed, make a 100, but it's up to that person, and not to the teacher to share. At which point, someone who must have seen my test on my desk shouted out my name. Yeah, that person was me! I smiled and the whole class started cheering and clapping. I felt like a complete nerd, which I am, so I felt like a completely proud nerd.. C'mon.. how cool is it that the deaf girl makes the only hundred in the class on a French test?!
- It's Rosh Hashanah, which is the Jewish New Year. L'shana Tova to all of my fellow Jews :)
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Survivin' and Thrivin'
I've survived my first week of high school.
And I actually sort of liked it. I'm one of those weird people who needs (and loves) routine. The first day was relatively uneventful. I didn't get lost, and was able to get to my classes on time. I feel really lucky, things have worked out quite well (so far.) My schedule is GREAT (well, now that I've changed it twice). My classes are pretty close to each other, I have at least one good friend in each class, and I've never been late (or even almost late). I was originally assigned a bottom locker, but I didn't want to chance hitting my head and breaking an implant, so I requested to get it moved to a top locker. My new locker is on the opposite side of the school, and I was especially concerned because it didn't seem to be near any of my classes. It is actually somewhat close to two of my classes, which is pretty good when you consider that most people are only able to make it to their lockers once a day. The best part is, I got one of the sophomore lockers. While it's not any different than the freshman lockers, the people around my locker are SO nice. Last year, the kid whose locker was next to mine smelled questionably like smoke (I'm not going to jump to any conclusions... but this deaf girl has a pretty acute nose!) and was constantly cussing at me to get out of his way. The snooty girl who had a locker under mine always had her posse standing standing in front of my locker who REFUSED. TO MOVE. Passing periods were somewhat traumatic last year.So, it was such a nice surprise for people to instantly move out of my way if they see I'm trying to access my locker! And they actually SMILE! A little respect goes a long way.
And I actually sort of liked it. I'm one of those weird people who needs (and loves) routine. The first day was relatively uneventful. I didn't get lost, and was able to get to my classes on time. I feel really lucky, things have worked out quite well (so far.) My schedule is GREAT (well, now that I've changed it twice). My classes are pretty close to each other, I have at least one good friend in each class, and I've never been late (or even almost late). I was originally assigned a bottom locker, but I didn't want to chance hitting my head and breaking an implant, so I requested to get it moved to a top locker. My new locker is on the opposite side of the school, and I was especially concerned because it didn't seem to be near any of my classes. It is actually somewhat close to two of my classes, which is pretty good when you consider that most people are only able to make it to their lockers once a day. The best part is, I got one of the sophomore lockers. While it's not any different than the freshman lockers, the people around my locker are SO nice. Last year, the kid whose locker was next to mine smelled questionably like smoke (I'm not going to jump to any conclusions... but this deaf girl has a pretty acute nose!) and was constantly cussing at me to get out of his way. The snooty girl who had a locker under mine always had her posse standing standing in front of my locker who REFUSED. TO MOVE. Passing periods were somewhat traumatic last year.So, it was such a nice surprise for people to instantly move out of my way if they see I'm trying to access my locker! And they actually SMILE! A little respect goes a long way.
Hearing-wise, things are great! At lunch, thanks to now being bilateral, I am able to follow most of the conversation with ease! It also makes it much easier to hear in the hallways. The FM is a HUGE help in my classes (I don't use it in the cafeteria because of spills and such), especially the larger ones where we get into groups often. One of my classes is a two-year class for those in the gifted program that is a mix of History, Humanities, and English. Since it's two years, there are also sophmores in my class and I get an AP History credit in addition to that an Honors English credit, which is pretty good. It's known for being really difficult, but also for being a lot of fun and the teachers are awesome. Apparently I'm in the "small" class (a mere 40 students!) On the first day, one of the teachers took a minute to quickly explain what the FM was, how it helped me, and that any time someone was speaking and I needed to hear it, they needed to speak into it. We then had to go around the room and tell things about the person sitting next to us, and the FM was passed to each person in the classroom before they could start speaking. This set a great precedent for the rest of the year, and already we have gotten into multiple groups and it has made it SO much easier on me. I am so grateful that my teacher did this, and he said it pretty eloquently and didn't make it seem like too big of a deal. Another thing that helped is the actual design of the FM. The SmartLink vaguely resembles a cellphone/TV remote/ iPod and doesn't seem quite as fragile as the Campus FM did. Everyone is comfortable just holding it up to their mouths like a microphone.
The second day I did have a problem where the FM died halfway through the day, even though it had been charging all night. I noticed a big difference when it wasn't working. The FM I am using is a temporary (and sort of old) loaner, and I will be getting a brand new SmartLink as soon as the order arrives. However, on Wednesday I was given a backup SmartLink to use in case the other one dies again. It hasn't, and now I have two temporary FMs to keep up wit1h I do still get a little bit of static, but not enough to make me not want to use it. I am going to trial using the FM in my right ear one more time. I don't think the results will be any different, but we'll see
I haven't had too much homework, but I'm apparently taking 2 of the 3 most difficult classes at my school, so I guess that won't last long.
Well, that's all I've got to tell! This first week has been really great, and I hope the rest of the year is the same.
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